Reeno

A graduate of Portland State University, Steve Kloser is the author of “Beginning Band - A Guide to Success” and “Let's Make Music - Classroom Recorder Course”.
He is also an accomplished teacher, conductor and composer, having penned numerous pieces including: La Vida and Fly With Me.
Teacher, web developer, Packers fan and proud American, Reeno's usually slanted outlook often presents an unlikely perspective on issues old and new. Reeno currently lives in Portland, OR.
Read more at www.reeno317.me or follow Reeno on Twitter at https://twitter.com/portlandreeno.

The Trouble with Trans

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I don’t get the whole ‘trans’ thing.  But then, I don’t need to.  My attitude toward it is the same as for a lot of other things:  Do what you want and live as you choose and leave me out of it, and I’ll do the same.  What I do get – más o menos – is the English language and how this group of selfish, imagination-less people have disrespected it and the rest of us.

It is apparent that trans and androgynous people don’t want to be referred to as either ‘he’ or ‘she’.  Fine.  But the pronouns they have gravitated to, ‘they’ ‘them’ and ‘theirs’, are PLURAL pronouns.  Do they consider themselves so very special as to require to be referred to as more than one person?  Or are they just being lazy?

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Getting it Right

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Another weekend of NFL football, another weekend filled with questionable officiating.  Another weekend of one team being convinced that they got screwed and another team accepting a win that they may know isn’t really theirs.  Another weekend of complete bullshit being spouted by Dean Blandino, the game’s Referee and the league office.  There is no need, nor is there enough time, to create a list of terrible calls and decisions recently made by those wearing the stripes.  We see and endure them almost every game and spend most of Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday fixating on them.

Respected analysts like Mike Greenberg declare emphatically that “what is important is to get it right”.  That getting it right should be achieved at all costs, using whatever technology we have at our disposal to ensure that we do.  This widely accepted notion seems incontestable; a ‘conventional wisdom’ if you will.

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Saturday, Sundays and Sour Grapes

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From the moment it was announced that Jeff Saturday would serve as the interim coach of the Colts, everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – in the media has been on his case.  “It’s a travesty.”  “It makes a mockery of the coaching profession.”  “It disrespects all the guys that have worked for decades to rise above and be considered for a head coaching job.”  Popycock.  What a bunch of whiners and complainers and sore losers.  I have two simple questions for you:

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Christmas Wish ’21

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The “Alfred Burt Carols” are a marvelous collection of fifteen Christmas songs.  They were written by Alfred S. Burt from 1942 and 1954 and annually distributed to friends as Christmas Cards.  After learning about them in high school choir, my buddy Dave and I decided we would follow suit.  We each wrote a little ditty, hand-copied ten or twelve copies, and mailed them out, vowing to continue to do so every year hence.  I’ve lost touch with Dave, but I know I haven’t done it again since.

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Look How They Massacred My Game

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If you never saw the Purple People Eaters browbeat quarterbacks or Joe Greene and the Steel Curtain blank opponent after opponent; if you never saw Walter Payton deliver crushing blows to prospective tacklers or Gayle Sayers dance his way to the goal line; if you never saw Paul Hornung covered in mud or an exhausted Kellen Winslow dragged off the field; if you’re not sure who the Super Bowl trophy is named after or who George Halas is or why the AFC trophy is named after Lamar Hunt, then to you NFL football may seem great, just fine, normal.  But to those of us who have been fans long enough to remember when the game was still football, today’s NFL is a sad and pale reminder of better days gone by.

New NFL Rules

From 1948 to 1960 a linebacker named Hardy Brown terrorized NFL offenses using a devastating right shoulder, which he used the way a boxer delivers a six-inch knockout punch, sending player after player from field to hospital.  During an interview for NFL Films in the 70s, after rule changes began to calm the game down, Hardy called the current state of football “a sissy game”.  As much as we hated to see him go in 1991, it’s probably better that Hardy never got a chance to see today’s much sissy-er version of the game he loved to play.

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Voting in America – Fixing This is Just Too Easy

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Prior to moving from the west coast to New England earlier this year I assumed that since the east coast has ‘been in business’ longer than the west, things would be pretty together; organized, with good systems in place.  Well you know what they say about people that assume.

On the morning of November 3 – a cold yet sunny morning glimmering with a layer of unexpected snow – I stood in line waiting with several fellow townspeople for the polls to open, got screened for Covid, and was eventually handed a pen and an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper; some pesty form that a nameless office worker had run off on their HP printer, I guessed; something else to throw away when no one is looking.  And then I realized that it was my ballot!

how to fix voting

I didn’t know if I should laugh, object or look to see if there was a hidden camera ready to record my reaction.  What kind of hobo, hillbilly, half-assed organization came up with these?  In the year 2020, with all the technological advances of the past fifty years, when everything from paying bills to going to class is done via a series of 0s and 1s, these people expect me to cast the most important ballot I’ve cast since the very first in 1976 using 18th century technology? 

Are you kidding me?  What the hell?  Didn’t we put a man on the moon over two generations ago?  And you give me what amounts to some tree bark and a piece of charcoal? 

Unfreakingbelievable. 

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Whose Flag is It?

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In a small New England town, one of the few places in America where young people are once again playing organized baseball on community fields, an old man; a veteran, proudly stares at the unfurled stars and stripes and with a tear in his eye sings our national anthem along with the recorded version being piped over the loud speaker.

In a parking lot within a bedroom community outlying Portland, Oregon a young woman sees a soldier walking to her car and alters her path to intersect with the soldier’s, extends her hand and offers her sincere thanks for the soldier’s service to our country.

In a fast food drive-through in Hamilton, Ohio a father of three notices that the car behind him contains four servicemen.  He preemptively pays for their meals and drives away before they are aware of his kindness and generosity.

These three proud Americans heroes have little in common except for their love of our country, our freedoms and our flag.

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When Ghosts Come a-Haunting – DNA Tests and You

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*The following recounts true and recent events.  The names have been changed.

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Sally had spent scores and scores of hours researching her family’s lineage, an interest she had begun to cultivate after her youngest headed off to college.  By the time she finally got around to send a little spit off to a popular genealogy website she was certain about what the outcome would be – after all, she had memorized the family tree from her dad back to her great-great-Grandfather!

When the report arrived in the mail she opened it with pronounced anticipation and began to scan for Johansons. There were none.  More slowly this time, she again perused the list of relatives and still no Johansons.  She checked to make sure it was her report and not a case of mistaken identity.  Hers.  Wow!

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On Not Taking the Bad With the Good

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*Tom was an alcoholic and a smoker.  A master carpenter and sometimes-roofer, he was wiry and tough and a living old-school ad for both Budweiser and Marlboro.

From time to time, usually at the urging of his family, Tom would stop drinking for a while, or stop smoking for a while, or stop both, for a while.  At a point in his late 30s he decided and voiced that he’d rather live a short life with his beer & cigs than live a long life without them.  When he entered the hospital at age 43, his body riddled with cancer, he did not complain or blame or mourn.  He knew why he was there and he was at peace with it.

We all do this to a certain extent: put up with some bad if it is outweighed by some good.  Drinkers put up with hangovers because they enjoy the drunk more than they dislike the hangover.  Pot smokers live with coughing their lungs out when they invariably take too big a hit, but decide it is worth it for the buzz.  Obese people enjoy the third bowl of ice cream and bag of chips more than they dislike buying bigger clothes each year.

And so it goes.

We also do this when we vote.

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School Prayer – Be Careful What You Ask For

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*Here we go again. Every time a member of the GOP starts lagging in the polls they bring up abortion and/or school prayer. Surefire issues that get the blood flowing and the jaws yapping. A way to distract and deflect and rouse the rabble.

That abortion has been and was ever and still is an issue discussed, debated and decided on by a bunch of old white guys that don’t even have a horse in the race, instead of women and their medical professionals, is ludicrous – just nuts!

As for school prayer, be careful what you start advocating for Mr. Trump – you just may get it.

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Do You Love America’s Youth?

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*More dead kids.  Another devastated town.  We mourn, we complain and we do nothing.  NOTHING!

As tiresome as it is to listen to NRA Nutz misquote, misinterpret and misuse the Second Amendment, and as badly as we need gun ownership regulation of some sort – as the Second Amendment dictates – gun control legislation is not going to stop these monstrous school killings; at least not any time soon.  Even if gun control legislation passed this afternoon it would take decades before guns weren’t readily available – if then. Keep Reading

Obama 2020……………. Michelle?

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*A few weeks ago Bill Maher tried to explain to the panelists on his HBO program why it will take someone already famous and popular and charismatic to defeat Trump in 2020, and suggested that one of the few people in that category is Oprah.

Not surprisingly the politicians on the panel belittled that idea as quickly and harshly as possible, not wanting to acknowledge that it could be necessary to call upon a non-politician to do a politician’s job; protective of their jobs and situation in the uneasy manner contractors display when homeowners suggest doing their own repairs instead of calling upon the contractor’s expertise.  Of course Mr. Maher could not have been more correct or insightful.

Much of Trump’s initial support was a result of him being a TV personality.  Had it not been for his established fame not only would he not have been elected president … he would never even have been invited to the debates or received the nomination.  He certainly wasn’t a credible politician – or even a credible human being.

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Father May I? Old White Men and Abortion

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*Here’s the thing about abortion: it is murder just the same as stabbing someone in an alley and just the same as sending young people into combat.

It isn’t about how many weeks or how many centimeters or how many heartbeats because you can’t have a person without that zygote and so you can’t say the zygote is not alive, or a being.  Cells that are reproducing and growing as rapidly as the zygotes are, more than qualify anything – plant or animal – to be ‘alive’.

No, it is about 1) who gets to murder legally and 2) who gets to decide who gets to murder legally.  The answer to both – generally speaking, in dangerous generalizations – is old white guys.  Politicians, influential businessmen, henchmen and cronies that think in grandiose terms, where lost lives are anticipated, computed and accepted as part of the game; the price of doing business.

abortion and old white men

Who doesn’t get to murder legally is everyone else, and the guys running the show will do anything to keep it that way, lashing out at the very idea of what and who they fear most: empowered women. Keep Reading

One Bad Apple

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Bad Apple

*Most addicts never see it coming.  They just cruise along enjoying a harmless vice, one they are in complete control of, placing themselves above the many that have succumbed.  Then the day of Josie’s graduation comes along, which means three hours in the car with family and a long day away from home before there will be any alone time, and they panic a little.  Mr. Jones is knocking.  That’s when the compromises begin.

One little lie here, one unfact there, twenty dollars here, a couple hours there.  They will compromise their own integrity.  They will compromise their own reality.  They will compromise almost anything just to get at that drink, that pill, that gram, that bet, that cupcake.  They start doing things that they never would have dreamed of doing a year ago, or two.

Bad Apple

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AOC’s Green Offensive

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*.. and upon entering, the children sprout wings and begin to fly, frolicking and playing together without regard or concern for race or gender; eating nutritious candy and carb-free ice cream; while discussing philosophy, playing music and jointly painting an endless mural of peace and love.

Sounds a lot like the last bit of the Green New Deal:

“.. shall provide all people of the United States with high-quality health care; affordable, safe, and adequate housing; economic security; and access to clean water, clean air, healthy and affordable food, and nature.”

We MUST participate in saving this planet!

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is certainly on the right track and trying to steer us in the right direction.  (Do you hear a ‘but’ coming?) Keep Reading

Perennial Peace

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Peace sign on hedge

*Dona nobis pacem.  Grant us peace.  Sounds like church, or Christmas.  Not everyday words, but nice.  Like Namaste, Shalom and Aloha, Peace is at once a greeting and a good-bye, a well wish for you and a hope for all, a concept and a reality.  Peace is something to strive for and enjoy along the way; to both dream of and experience.

Peace doesn’t get much press these days except during the holidays.  That’s when illuminated doves and signs spelling out PEACE and old-school Peace Signs come out of hiding along with Jesus and the manger and Santa, as if they all were members of a high school debate team that still gets together once a year.

The lights and decorations are beautiful and remind us that it is a special season and most of us do slow down a bit; try to be a little more patient and understanding and peaceful.  By New Year’s Day the lights are gone and the debate team is again confined to the box and peace goes back into hibernation with the others, both in physical space and (perhaps?) in our hearts.  But, Peace is not a Christmastime thing! Keep Reading

Donald Trump – American Hero

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**The following is political satire*
Today the Congress of the United States of America officially passed into law the Twenty-eighth or ‘Hero’ Amendment:

The forty-fifth President is hereby designated the true American Hero and true Father of our Country.  No law shall restrict his actions, deeds or service.  All textbooks shall be updated to reflect his stature.  In order to learn, emulate and preserve the Hero’s beliefs, manners and mannerisms, all children aged 4 to 19 shall be required to be an active member in in the Trump Youth, henceforth overseen by the Department of ReEducation.

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The Golden Age of Linux

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*“Do you wanna run up to Egghead with me?  The new version of Netscape is out and I want to get it before they run out again.”

Egghead – for the uninitiated – was a brick and mortar retail store in your town that sold software released on floppy disks or CDs and packaged in colorful shrink-wrapped boxes.  Netscape was the first widely-used web browser; in 1996 it cost $49 and had to be installed separately.

The biggest difference between then and now is that we don’t buy or own software anymore; like beer, we only rent it.  Fortunately beer doesn’t prompt us to log into our mountain fresh account by tapping a secret code on the can before being enabled to enjoy the product we’ve paid good money for, or force us to wait while the beer is infused with updated hops, or require us to agree to ‘terms’ so one-sided as to actually be jocular – except that it is not funny.

The days of spacing out and alternating software purchases to help stay within a budget have gone the way of the floppy disk.  Monthly and/or yearly subscription fees for specialty software used for image editing, audio/video creation, publishing and developing can quickly add up to hundreds every year.  Once MS moves its Windows operating system to a subscription plan the average household can be looking at annual fees of between five hundred and a thousand dollars per year just to check email! Keep Reading

Peace

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*Peace.  We don’t hear much about it these days.  It’s almost as if we talked and fussed and signed about it so much in the 60s & 70s, that it got tired – or we did.  By the 80s a person flashing a peace sign was seen as immature or perhaps desperately clinging to their youth.  Peace became passé.  Which explains 2018.

The thing about Peace is that it can mean so many things.

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Real News, Fake President

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*Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!  It’s funny how things stay with you.  Vietnamization will end U.S. involvement in the war.  Even if you’re a kid and you don’t really understand, if you hear something often enough it becomes part of who you are.  Never has it been doubted that everything’s better with Blue Bonnet on it, or what kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs or that Jesus died for our sins or that America is the greatest nation on Earth.

Some of these are ingrained in us before we have any chance to understand what they mean, never mind question them.  Whether we hear them on TV, in church, at school or at home, if words are repeated often enough, long enough, they become part of who we are; and we believe them.  How else can you explain prejudice?  Kids get along fine until someone important in their life tells them why they shouldn’t.

BTW: Fat kids, skinny kids, kids that climb on rocks.  Tough kids, sissy kids, even kids with chicken pox love hot dogs.  That old commercial could never run in 2018 because of the words used to describe the kids.  Try calling a child fat, skinny, or a sissy and prepare to deal with an onslaught of anger from whoever happens to be standing near!  The words matter.  Now more than ever before.

Insidious: proceeding in a gradual, subtle way, but with harmful effects.  treacherous; crafty.  

The two most important words in the American lexicon are Fake News. Fake News - Real News, Fake President

The president repeats them more often than beer commercials during a football game.  Keep Reading

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